1st Step — Understanding Anger

I have been for a long time pondering on various aspects of anger and its consequences on the self and others. Many questions would come to my mind as to what are the reasons behind such emotional eruption. Why did we react to a situation in a certain way, what causes us to react, when, where and how etc is tagged along to find an answer to the questions within.

In order to learn in depth about the subject, let's first understand what "Anger" actually is. The negative emotion that we create inside us leads to Anger.

Where does this negative emotion come from? Fear of not able to control a situation, something which did not happen as per the image we created results in anger, leading to hoards of conflicts in our mind. These conflicts generally are a debate within us in justifying our actions. Anger can truly be a friend if we become aware of the causes but can be damaging at both physical and emotional plains if it is not checked in a timely manner. Anger is not our enemy but rather a cry for attention.

2nd Step — Reducing Anger

Anger is harming as it creates turbulence and imbalance in a person. People think it is good to take out anger as it is not good to keep it inside or anger is natural and should not be controlled.

Consciously work on not to react and you'll bless yourself for not reacting as it would have been a waste of time otherwise. Most often than not, we generally react for wrong reasons without understanding the situation in depth.

Anger could be because of many reasons:

• Anger with Past: trying to control that which is not in my control.
• Fighting against people: who are not doing things as per our wishes.
• Fighting with our self: most of the time we are angry at ourselves but we project it on others.

Once you accept that you are responsible for your anger, you will realize that your mind is calm and your suffering is less.

3rd Step — Overcoming Anger

Give advice but leave it to them to decide. Have no expectations. Let everyone be as they are, inspire but do not expect your child to score as per your expectations.

A simple method to overcome anger:

• Accept and acknowledge that we are creating the anger.
• Become detached — watch it and see it as a third person.
• Check what would be the best way to handle the problem as you would advise a friend.
• Remove your consciousness/energy from that thought as it could be negative.
• Replace it with a positive/pure energy, accept and stay focused on this thought.

As the old saying goes, "practice makes a person perfect."

— Mrs. Geetha Rajan, Centre for Child Development and Disabilities